Clerical Articles

You’re a heretic!

  • October 28, 2016

I saw a man standing near a bridge, ready to jump over it. So I yelled at him:

“Hold on!” “Don’t do it!”

That man turned towards mine having a tear in his eye. Then I noticed that he was wearing a cross. I got touched and I asked him:

“Are you Christian?”

“Yes!” he answered.

“Are you Orthodox, Catholic or Protestant?”

“Orthodox.”

I insisted and he came closer.

“Are you Romanian or Greek Orthodox?”

“Romanian Orthodox.”

“Me too!” “Are you a Romanian Orthodox pro or against ecumenism?”

“A Romanian Orthodox against ecumenism.”

“Ah, like me.” “But are you a Romanian Orthodox against ecumenism following the new calendar or the old calendar?”

“Following the new calendar.”

“Very good!” “Are you Romanian Orthodox against ecumenism, following the new calendar and pro or against the Synod from Crete?”

“Against the Synod from Crete.”

”Amazing!” ”Just like me!” ”Tell me do you agree with the hierarchs who signed at the Synod from Crete?”

”No, I don’t agree with the hierarchs who signed at the Synod from Crete!”

”Fantastic! ”I don’t agree with the hierarchs who signed at the Synod from Crete either!” ”But tell me, do you consider the Synod from Crete as being heretical?”

”No, I don’t consider it heretical.”

”How’s that?” ”You don’t consider the Synod from Crete heretical?” ”And you don’t consider the hierarchs who signed as being heretics either?”

”No, I don’t consider them heretics either.”

”You’re a heretic!”

And I immediately pushed him over the bridge…

Updated adaptation after a joke signed by John Gfoeller