Paternity is love

Somebody said that there are no perfect parents. I don’t know if I can agree with this statement. They rather can’t be found. I remember the exclamation of the pagan philosopher Libanius who spoke about the education of the children in the Christian families frm the times of saint John Chrysostom: `what good mothers the Christians have!`

Saint Josephn and the Most Holy Virgin Mary were perfect parents. Saints Joachim and Ana, saints Zacharias and Elisabeth were perfect parents. Perfect is the parent who sacrifices himself for his child in the name of God.

Thus perfect is that paternity which raises the children in the spirit of love for God. Faith in God and love are a glue that sticks together tightly all the bricks that form the solid house of a strong family. And those bricks are: self sacrifice, protection, responsibility and accountability, care, attention, teaching, life habits, polite communication, good manners and many others. All these will form an unshakeable wall only if they are built on the foundation stone represented by Christ.

Parenting of nowadays that became viral in the EU tends to use all these bricks but replacing the glue and the foundation stone with the `democratic politically correct values`. That why I am sure that the wall built in an anti Christian and atheist society will fall as the Babel tower.

Behavioral psychology that represents the groundwork of parenting is derived from Freud’s theories who analyzes the consequences of the childhood traumas. They may be justified partially because the psychological trauma has indeed serious consequences in the life of man. The behavioral consequences depend on the physiology of the brain that develops till full age.

The most significant development of the human brain takes place in the first year of life. We know that a new born baby doesn’t have his senses well developed, he doesn’t see well, he doesn’t hear as we do, he doesn’t react as we do. All these appear during the development of his brain and they depend very much on the love and his interaction with his parents or guardians.

I say guardians because not all the babies have the luc to stay with their mummies and daddies after their birth.This is probably the first and the most painful blow from their life – the separation from their mother who carried them below her heart during pregnancy.

I read somewhere a story about a mother who came to a famous teacher and asked him for advice for raising and educating her new born baby and the teacher answered: `Dear, we’ve been 9 months late.` However I dare say that the education of a child doesn’t start from the moment of his conception but it stretches during the development of the whole mankind from Adam and Eve till now. I understood this fact when I watched the behavior of my children. I realized they are me in a miniature. I was the same way at their age. Sometimes this thought made me despair – I would give my life if they wouldn’t be the way I was and I am sometimes. However if it were to see the full side of the glass not the empty one, then we would understand that we could educate our children only if we educate ourselves!

The children inherit the features of the adults because many hereditary behaviours are explained by the complexity of the chemical substances produced by the human body. The doses of the happiness or sadness, of fear and hate hormones are closely tied up with the activity of the human brain. Serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin are only a part of the most common hormones widely known by the people who are not specialized in the structure of the human body. The production of hormones is caused by the functioning of the brain, the most complex organ of our body.

The scientists came to the conclusion that the terminations of the human brains determine the function of the cerebral zones responsible for the various functions of the body. For example there is a close relation between high chronic stress and the man’s incapacity to memorize, to think, to keep his emotions in balance, to temper his reactions.

These discoveries made the scientists confirm what Christian faith has been stating for ages – love is the engine of a harmonius life and of an adequate behavior.

The atheist society wants to replace God with notions like empathy, tolerance, patience, trying to avoid the notion of love. But at least atheism is consistent and understands that love means God. Thus the atheist in his consistency opposes firmly the wisdom of apostle Paul who says:  `Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails. (hymn of love – I Cor. 13;1-8)

Dear parents give LOVE to your children and all the others shall be added!

Priest Constantin Cojocaru


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