`Father if someone is upset because his confessor rebuked him for a certain mistake and falls into sadness has he any selfishness?`
`Of course. If he got upset after God would receive comfort and would progress because he would try not to commit the same mistake again. He must tell his confessor his difficulties, thoughts and falls and receive joyfully and humbly the severe behavior because everything is done out of love and interest for the progress of his soul.`
`Father, if they don`t accept the rebukes and criticisms?`
`If you don`t receive it you remain unchanged. Those who don`t receive criticisms not even from those who love them remain some crooked wood and they make themselves of no avail in the spiritual matters.
They destroy themselves in the end in the same way some planks can`t be shaved off by the carpenter to become furniture and end up being framings or ladders where they are treaded and soiled until they are thrown into fire.
`Father, when someone doesn`t agree with his confessor in a certain matter what must he do ?`
`He should confess simply and humbly his thought. Of course there is needed much care in choosing the confessor so that he may have trust and find rest by his guidance.
`Father, when someone sees something in another way than his confessor is it useful for him to insist to keep his opinion?`
`No, because he doesn`t know what hides behind what he considers incorrect. For example in order to understand what lies behind an action of his confessor this one should tell him something from the confession of another person. But is it allowed to tell him the confession of another person? Of course not. Let`s say he agreed with his confessor to meet him at a certain hour but at that hour there is someone else who goes there and has suicidal thoughts and his confessor receives that one the first. Then this one thinks: `He received first that one and he despises me.`
But how can the confessor tell him that the other person reached a limit when he wanted to commit suicide ? If he explains he destroys the other one. While if this one is deceived or gets upset nothing bad will happen. Once there were some people who got deceived when they came here at the hut. There was someone whose family brought him here with great difficulty to discuss and I received him with great kindness. I kissed him and gave him a rosary and some small icons. The others got upset.
`The elder didn`t pay any attention to us.` they said. This one poor boy was like the lost son. I knew details from his life. He left completely changed. The others could have been deceived for a thousand times. You can`t destroy one giving rest to another with an explanation.
Excerpt from Ascetic struggle –Pious Paisios the Athonite, Evanghelismos Publishing.