There are people who come to me and complain that they speak to their children, to their relatives and friends about God as I speak to them but they don`t listen. Once a lady came and complained for the same reason. And I answered her:
`My dear, in order to listen to you, you must first of all have faith and believe in Christ and only afterwards to speak to them about Him. Do you follow what Christ said? Do you love Him? Have you dedicated yourself with all your flesh and soul to Him? To speak about Christ you must struggle to get rid of your passions and sins. Are you doing this?`
`No, because I am human and I get angry and upset and I argue. When they slandered me unjustly I slandered them too. That`s human, mother, I am not God. He could endure everything, but I can`t. Look for instance last week my mother in law criticized me because I put less oil in the food. Was it necessary to say that in front of my husband? She should have rather said it to me confidentially. So I got annoyed and sent her away without the knowledge of my husband. She should learn not to speak that way anymore.
`My dear, was it so important what she told you that you sent her away just like this all of a sudden? If you have such malice how do you expect to be listened when you speak about Christ? Do you know what they say for themselves? Take care
Take care to put yourself in order first and only afterwards to speak about Christ.
`Yes, this is what they tell me and I get upset because I believe in Christ.
`Yes, my love, but who believes in Christ doesn`t do what you do. When we believe in God, we try not to hurt Him and to do what He taught us and not what we like and only afterwards to speak about God. How can all these go together? Can we have two parents, God and the devil in the same time? It`s impossible. We`ll follow either one of them or the other. To follow God you must accept to do what He wants and not what you want. If you follow His will then you will not be upset anymore by what your mother in law or your mother or your husband or your neighbor says because the sons of God are noble and they don`t care about such insignificant things. Do you understand?`
`I understand but it`s very hard to do what you told me.`
`Then if it`s hard to live near Christ you have no right to speak about Him. Doesn`t your conscience rebuke you for what you`ve done?`
`It`s rebuking me.`
`Then why don`t you correct yourself in order to gain the love of our Christ and be happy near Him? Then He will put into your mouth His words and you will say them first to yourself and only afterwards to the others. And then be sure everybody will listen to you and they will receive Christ in their heart because you have become an example of kindness and love for Christ.
Excerpt from the book Listen to me! by nun Porphyria, published by Evanghelismos.
